Jot it Down July 2019
by Irene Claire
Summary: A short series of chapter contributions for the Jot it Down July Challenge of 2019 also on A03 w the same tag. Some contributions are Gen and others will be Pre Slash; a couple will be Slash (Like Chapters 2 & 3) - the muse will run amok. Read chapter warnings please! Angst, hurt/comfort, etc. See each chapter's notes for description. Be patient with how this progresses!
1. Thirstday: I'm Good at My Job

**I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Notes: **_This is my first attempt at "Jot it Down July" and a contribution to "Thirstday" U.S.T (which I needed help in deciphering - thanks Phoebe!)._

**_CHAPTER SUMMARY: (rated T for Mature). Thoughts from Steve and Danny's POV after a brief undercover op. Pre slash. Mutual pining. Danny is "handsy". Steve wants more. Both are sadly oblivious about the other's very similar wants and thoughts. Some bad language._**

_So here we are and I'll see if the muse decides to cooperate for the other "days" of the week sometime this happy, hot and steamy month of July. I'm already out of order in the days of the week and I may skip a few days entirely to get to Smuturday ... but I didn't see a rule about having to start posting on a Sunday Songday or being in sequential order! _

_**big grin**_

_The days are tagged as follows and anyone/everyone should feel welcome to joining in regardless of fandom or pairing - please see the moderators of this fun challenge on A03 if you need info because this is all I got and I got it from them! (_tarialdarion and nihilvanum)

**1\. Songday **(Angsty songs! Fluffy songs! Songs with unmentionable lines! ALL THE FIC INSPIRED BY THE MOST POIGNANT OF LYRICS)

**2\. Marrieday** (Is it a fake marriage where there's *_gasp_* ONLY ONE BED? Is it a divorce AU? you decide.)

**3\. Tropesday** (DO YOU LIKE MUTUAL PINING AND COLLEGE AUS? I THINK YOU DO)

**4\. Whumpnesday** (WHO WANTS TO READ THEIR FAVORITE CHARACTERS CRYING)

**5\. Thirstday** (_U S T_)

**6\. Fluffday** (Because nothing finishes out the work week like cuddling and sharing cookies)

And last, but oh certainly not least:

**7\. Smuturday** (Rated E for excellently explicit)

**H5O* H5O* H5O* H5O* H5O -**

**_Entry 1 - Thirstday: " I'M GOOD AT MY JOB"_**

Steve heard Danny as he joked about the undercover op and his role.

"What can I say? I'm just dammed good at my job," Danny boasted with a good-natured laugh.

Hiding the hurt in his eyes, Steve tried to smile too as he popped the trunk to the Camaro and blindly reached for his go-bag. His skin was over heated to his own touch and his breathing just a bit off as he changed his filthy tee-shirt for a clean one. As he tugged the material over the sweaty dampness of his chest, he swore that he could still feel the rough drag of his partner's fingers over his skin.

_'I have to make this look good,' Danny had said as he'd rucked up Steve's tee-shirt. He'd traced the ridges of Steve's six-pack, then higher over the nobs of his ribs. Higher still to the planes of his chest. _

If it had looked good, he knew for a fact that it had felt even better and Steve cleared his throat, knowing his face was bright red now. He ducked down, deeper into the trunk of the car, a sad attempt to get himself under control.

He failed though as he accidentally bumped his cock into the rim of the trunk. His startled groan at just how good his body still knew Danny's ploy had felt was swallowed by the depths of the Camaro.

Steve took a brief moment to close his eyes. He still felt the way Danny had teasingly nipped at his lips. The way his tongue had dared trace a hot, wet line ... and Steve intentionally pressed his hips firmly against the car's bumper. He gave himself a subtle roll trying to quell the reactive twitch inside his pants.

It didn't work. Not at all.

_Down boy_ ... this simply wouldn't do because it wasn't real.

It was all a game.

None of it was real.

Danny had been simply putting on a show because he was _dammed good at his job._

Unable to help himself, Steve glanced over his shoulder towards where Danny was standing. He wiped at the rim of sweat beading his upper lip. Danny's back was to him, his hands gesturing wildly through the air as they always did as he bonded and commiserated with the other members of the small op.

They'd likely never see this small handful of agents again and yet, Danny had embraced them like long lost brothers. Comrades in arms.

But he'd embraced Steve like a long-time lover and Steve swallowed hard as he felt his face heat up. He touched his own lips, still tasting the scent of Danny's breath. Stale coffee. A subtle hint of spearmint. He swallowed again as his throat closed up and he dared admit something to himself.

_He didn't want to just be Danny's job._

"Shit," Steve cursed under his breath. The group was breaking up. Saying their good-byes until the formal debriefing. He hurried himself along, slamming the trunk closed and practically diving into the drivers seat when he sensed Danny striding back towards him.

"You all right? You're awfully - you know - _not_ chatty," Danny said in the quiet of the car as they drove back to the Palace. He paused, glanced towards Steve, tried to smile but didn't quite make it. Instead, he fidgeted uncomfortably and then stared out the passenger window.

"Hey, I'm sorry you know. If I went too far. I didn't mean for that to happen ..."

"No. It's fine. Don't apologize," Steve interrupted with an idle wave of his hand. "We did what we had to do ... we're professionals, right?"

His face was hot again though. He could feel the blush clear up to his ears as he stared studiously at the road in front of him. He was desperate to palm his crotch. It was a struggle to keep his casual, one-hipped slouch, both hands firmly on the wheel.

"Yeah, right," Danny murmured softly. "Professionals." The remark seemed so strangely fraught with meaning, Steve chanced a glance towards the passenger seat. But an illogical flare of hope died as quickly as their conversation. He didn't learn anything new. Danny was still gazing out the window, a distant look in his eyes.

If Danny noticed that their conversation waned by the time they'd gotten to the Palace, he didn't question it. They walked through the main doors like they always did, side by side, shoulder to shoulder. This time though, Steve was cognizant of every subtle brush of Danny's arm against his. He was sensitive to the musky scent of Danny's skin. He keenly felt the loss of his partner's body when Danny suddenly veered left for the men's room.

"See ya inside," Danny said as he slipped through the door.

"Sure," Steve mumbled to the air as he forced his legs to keep going. Feeling bereft as he waited for his partner, Steve sat behind the desk, blaming the way he was shivering on the high blast of the air conditioning and not on the way his right hand was anchored to the front of his cargoes.

Down boy, indeed.

**H5O* H5O**

As soon as Danny made it through the door and he confirmed that he was alone in the men's room. He leaned against the cool wall, feeling weak and not just a little bit shaky. Eyes closed, he intentionally rapped the back of his skull against the hard tile as he replayed the last few minutes of their undercover op.

"You're a stupid ass Williams," he berated himself softly. "What the hell were you thinking?"

He'd practically tipped his hand to his partner. He'd virtually told Steve how much he lusted after the man by the way he'd melded his body against his as part of a last minute ruse. And had it been necessary or had he jumped at an excuse for an opportunity to cop a feel?

_Steal a kiss?_

As he licked his lips, searching for remnants of salt and sea, Danny wasn't all that sure anymore.

Yeah, they'd kept their cover. Protected their op and gotten their man. But at what expense?

He'd risked their friendship with a kiss which he'd hadn't been able to control. Hands that were far too conversant in their wants and needs. For what he'd been really thinking, Danny had been anything but professional.

Danny sucked in a lungful of air to try and steady the racing of his heart. He could still feel _him_ though and the way ... _Steve's fingers had traveled up the sensitive inner skin of his forearm. The way he'd cupped Danny's elbow as if to intentionally pull him in closer. _

Danny desperately tried to quiet his heart and yet it only stampeded all the harder, making his breath stutter-stop inside his lungs. So he closed his eyes and simply gave in to it.

Just in this rare moment of solitude, Danny let himself remember the power and strength under the unexpected softness of Steve's skin. He let himself conjure the smell - the soothing scent of the ocean - stuck in Steve's hair; taste the salt of the Pacific from an early morning swim. He wanted to believe that the way Steve had canted his head to the side ... the way he had so gently parted his lips and had so willingly allowed Danny in, that he'd wanted Danny just as much.

That he'd _felt_ something.

But it was all a sham. There had been no spark. Danny was deluding himself because there had been _nothing_ ... and he'd done _nothing_ more than embarrass the man. And quite frankly, he'd embarrassed himself, too.

Danny's eyes sprung open in shame and alarm.

"Jesus Christ, what did I do?" Danny berated himself as he thumped the back of his head just a little bit harder into the wall. He wanted Steve so much, it physically hurt.

As he forced himself off the tile of the men's room wall, Danny cursed himself for probably sabotaging the best friendship he'd ever had and trying to blame it all on being _good at his job_. Steve had clearly been uncomfortable - still was - he was hardly talking. He'd been in such a rush to leave the scene, Steve had barely said a cordial _fare thee well_ to the rest of the team.

It all tallied up to one clear thing: Danny had royally screwed up.

And for what?

"You dumb fuck. What the hell did you just do?"

_**~ End. ~**_


	2. Smut-urday C1: A Parody of Extremes

_**I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

_**Notes**: **SLASH WARNING FOR THIS AND THE NEXT CHAPTER!**_

_**Late Contribution to the series and "Smut-urday".**_

_Chapter Summary: this explains what happens after the stirrings of want in chapter 1. __Err, so not July. It's August ... and I hope you forgive me. Besides being in the throes of moving, balancing this was actually difficult without it feeling "cheap". I hope I succeeded in avoiding a sex-fest for the sake of sex. Not that it's bad, but their reactions and feelings are equally important. Ergo, a two-parter._

_And it is after all ... a Saturday here._

_Thanks to Phoebe for the run through and super prompt beta/opinion on this one!_

**H5O* H5O* H5O* H5O* H5O**

"You got a hot partner there, McGarrett," Flanigan said with a bright chuckle. The agent had been unable to let certain aspects of the op go and after a few beers, even the man's own partner was trying to shut him up. From the opposite side of the lanai where he was putting out more drinks, as if they _needed_ more, Danny felt his face flush.

"And a smart one. That was seriously fast thinking. We never would have pulled this off without 5-0's help and willingness to go to such enormous ... extremes ..."

_Extremes_.

Danny nearly dropped the Longboards he was taking from the case and transferring to the small tub of ice. His very unhelpful brain was pulling out key words from Flanigan's repertoire. The word '_extremes_' highlighted front and center. For a moment with his hands buried in the icy slush, Danny tried not to listen. Flanigan's joshing was light-hearted and it should have meant absolutely nothing.

Except that it meant everything.

"Shut up, Flan," his partner said with a soft chuckle. Don was older, near retirement. He'd been mostly bored by his younger partner's gregarious nature. Bored and patiently tolerant. "It wasn't so extreme ... everyone did what they had to do to keep the op intact. No more, no less. Right, McGarrett? Though hell, it was pretty dammed ... _hot_..."

The resulting good-natured laughter was loud and not wholly unexpected. But Danny had wrongly assumed that Don would have remained outside the teasing circle. The food and the drink must have been good though and now, it was all beginning to grate on Danny's ears. The laughter and the round robin subject matter were turning sour and it all sent a ball of anxiety falling heavily into the pit of his stomach.

" ... no _shit_ that was hot!"

Danny cringed as he looked for and then found Steve standing by the grill with Lou Grover. As soon as he saw him, Danny forgot everyone else. He barely heard the laughter or registered the teasing words. He stared at Steve, frozen where he was, waiting for the shoe to fall ... and when it did, it crashed.

"You should see your face, McGarrett!" Flanigan wasn't ready to give it up yet as he barked out another laugh. "Fucking priceless!"

The statement couldn't have been more true. Steve's head had snapped up from where he'd been having a semi-private with Lou Grover. He looked around clearly not expecting this particular topic of conversation to have resurfaced. Self conscious of the attention, Steve gave a faint nod and weak smile. Then he practically inhaled the entire contents of the newly uncapped bottle of beer he'd been holding which was a bad move.

He choked almost immediately and as it continued, Lou began to pound Steve on the back with the heel of his hand.

Stomach in knots and still stuck where he was on the opposite side of the lanai, Danny watched as Steve held up a hand, signaling he was fine. But with tears in his eyes, he missed the table with the empty. The bottom of the glass bottle hit the table's rim and fell to the lanai. It was a dammed miracle that the glass didn't break. But Danny did. The dull clunk of glass to concrete got him moving and it took all of his remaining self control to not literally run from the party. Or run screaming from his own house. But that was still a possibility as he found some temporary escape in the make-believe sanctuary of his kitchen where he leaned heavily against the counter.

He couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. He knew one thing though: he hated himself for what he'd done. But he had to give up his heart because nothing else would ever make sense.

Everything was different now and Danny didn't know what to do about it. Even if Steve hadn't been so uncomfortable around him, Danny was done playing with this personal charade. He just couldn't do it anymore. Arms braced stiffly against the counter, he hung his head and closed his eyes. He didn't really know these people and their teasing was light; easy-going. Yet what they'd noticed held an undertone of the real truth. And they had to see that, too, didn't they? He despised himself for just about everything.

"Danny? Are you all right?"

He whirled around as if stung, eyes wide, his face covered in a sheen of cold sweat. "I'm sorry ... really," he managed to say. "I need to leave... I mean ... not now." He tried to laugh as he gestured around his own kitchen. "I mean, this is my place. So, after. You know."

"No. No I don't know," Steve replied. "Leave? After _what_? I only came in here to see if you needed help with anything ... what are you talking about? Are you sick ... do you feel ...?" His partner's voice trailed off as a certain understanding dawned. His eyes widened in shock and then adopted a terrifying look of wariness when Danny wiped his face with the side of his hand. A hand that was shaking.

"I'm not sick," Danny mumbled, not knowing where to look. He was sick though. Heartsick and ready to vomit on his bare feet right then and there.

"What do you mean that you want to leave? You want to leave what exactly, Danno?" Steve swallowed hard, clearly upset. "What's up with you? You've been off all week ..."

"I've been _off_ all week!?" Danny bit back a laugh that was a bit too sharp and far too thin. He grappled blindly for the counter top behind him, using it to keep his balance. It wasn't about _what_ he wanted to leave as much as _who_ he needed to escape from. His next comment sounded caustic even to himself and he instantly regretted the words. "And what? Like you haven't been?"

"Me?" Steve opened his mouth and then completely deflated. "What in hell is going on with you? Can't you just tell me? Is it Charlie? Is he sick?"

"No," Danny whispered. "Thank God. No ... it's not about Charlie." He inhaled deeply, his voice still abnormally quiet. "Think about it, Steve. You know what's wrong and you know when it started," he said. "And I'm ... I'm sorry. It's my fault."

"I don't know ... I have no idea what you're talking about. But no matter what it is, do you really believe that leaving is the answer?" Steve actually whispered back. Sad and confused, his eyes were dark and liquid but Danny didn't reply. He didn't know what to say. That no, he didn't want to leave? But really, what choice did he have? He'd completely fucked up everything. 5-0's reputation. Steve's standing as its leader as well as his own credibility. What choice did he have in the end? This was just another example of how he always fucked up his life. And to be truthful, what else was new?

_Him in HPD. His partner, Grace's death back in Newark. Rachel. His marriage_ ... and now his professional partnership ... the best friendship he'd ever had. He, Danny Williams, was the common denominator in a string of failures.

He was a parody of extremes and he had no defense for his actions except for the truth.

He might as well fuck this up too. After all,_ fucking up_ what he had with Steve had only been a matter of time, right? With his feelings mounting, how long could he have possibly kept going on like this?

He took a deep breath and then said what he thought he needed to say.

"It's me; this is all on me. I don't think I can get past this ... problem I have," Danny continued to speak softly, forcing himself to move forward with a rationale he thought he could justify. "After these guys leave, I'll leave, too. 5-0. The team ... I mean, you have Lou. There's others ..."

"What the hell's wrong with you? Resign? You're not leaving, Danno," Steve said, voice low, guttural. Almost threatening. "I won't let you just leave. You just can't just go for no reason." It was his turn to shake his head from left to right. Then, Steve folded his arms tightly across his chest. He stood in the doorway as if he were a singular barricade of pure muscle.

"There's zero reason for you to leave," he repeated. This time, Steve's tone was pleading in its intensity.

"No?" Danny tried to smirk but his heart was about to beat right out of his chest. Why was Steve pushing the issue so dammed hard? Danny's brain wanted to go where his heart wanted it to go and he tamed it back down, flatly refusing to believe that Steve might feel the same way. Danny struggled as he studied the angular lines of Steve's face, struggling to avoid looking at his chest ... the tan on his arms. His face heated up and he felt an illogical urge to flee, but Steve was blocking him in on purpose. He sighed, forcing himself to loosen the grip he had on the counter. It was harder though to keep his voice flat, indifferent.

"For no reason? That's where you're wrong. I have a reason, Steve. A good one. A very, very good one actually."

"Really? I can't think of a single one," Steve taunted back, his voice now hard as nails. "Spit it out, Danno. You've suddenly got a problem? What is it then? Is it you ... and Rachel? Somebody else?" His self-hug tightened, his shoulders hunched.

"No!" Danny hissed back in shock. He tried to keep his voice down as laughter erupted outside. It was almost as if it were perfectly timed to interrupt the fine line they were walking. "I don't have anybody ... and if I did, it's sure as hell wouldn't be Rachel. No!"

"Then what the hell is going on with you?" Steve spat back just as harshly. They stared at each other, breathing hard.

He had to say it. He did and he would. Because another personal issue which Danny had - other than being completely head over heels in love with his work partner and supposed best friend - was an insane need to be honest. More affliction than personalty flaw even; it might take him time to say or admit something, but the truth always came out of his mouth.

Wrong time or right. It didn't matter. He'd verbalize all of the ugly truth.

So here, face to face with Steve in his kitchen it was no different. Especially with the man in question literally breathing down his throat. Danny felt that need to speak the whole truth take over his sensible mind. Ramifications be dammed. Even if all aspects of their relationship could be over.

_No, their relationship would be over. _Which was why Danny felt he had to leave in the first place. He at least would owe Steve the reason why.

"Well," Danny started. "It's ..." He took another deep breath and then helplessly let the words just tumble out of his mouth. "There's an enormous conflict of interest here ..." He tried to make light of his feelings as he intentionally looked Steve up from top to bottom, settling on his mouth and it completely back-fired. Danny's face heated even more as he traced the soft outline of Steve's lips with his eyes, ruing Steve's reaction once he understood. His gaze flit from Steve's mouth to his chest, the dark tattoos on tanned skin until he settled back on his face.

Steve's eyes were focused intently on him and Danny swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing when his throat turned to dust. He coughed lightly and then averted his eyes, looking blindly at a spot on the floor. "One that's going to be a problem on too many levels for me to try to count," Danny forged quietly on. "So yeah, Steve ... I can't get past this conflict - this personal problem that I have - and I can't be responsible as a liability to you or to anyone on the team. So, I'm planning to resign from 5-0 ..."

He didn't know where to look. Danny didn't know where these words were coming from either. They were all true. He needed to leave. He had to resign. It wasn't what he wanted and yet, there it was and as he said it, he felt even more sick inside. But that decision, in the end, would be the only one which would make sense.

For the longest time, Steve stared at him in silence. Unmoving, rock-solid, Steve just stood there like the intimidating wall he could be and Danny waited.

"Conflict? What personal ... problem?" Steve finally asked, clearly confused at first until the cogs began to click together one by one.

Firmly. Loudly. _Permanently_.

"Holy shit." Steve didn't disappoint as his eyes widened even more when he realized what Danny meant. His arms fell limply to his sides, fingers clenching and unclenching. Danny gave him a weak, tremulous smile. Steve sure got it now. Then again, catching the gist of Danny's import needed little translation. But that's where it all ended as Steve glanced over his shoulder in the direction of the lanai where they could still hear voices.

_Laughter. The gentle give and take of a good party. _

But they all might as well been standing right in front of him, laughing directly into his face. Danny was a joke. A mockery.

Steve turned back to stare at him in shocked silence. His eyes were darker than before; his expression full of mixed emotions. Of course he'd be shocked and why not? This was one hell of a revelation. Danny shrugged helplessly as his chest tightened and that dead weight settled in the pit of his stomach as Steve's eyes, large and now liquid in understanding captured his own. Danny didn't know how to read this expression but as Steve continued to stare at him not saying a single dammed thing, Danny just knew what he'd done ... and now what he'd admitted to ... had put a nail in his coffin.

"So can you just believe that?" Danny said around a nervous half-laugh. He was sweating now but he'd started this conversation and he had to finish it and he couldn't even laugh anymore. The fake smile fell from his face. Glancing down at the floor, Danny took a deep breath and then bravely held Steve's gaze before forging ahead.

_Get it all out Williams. Why the fuck not?_

"It's not like I planned any of this, but I can't pretend anymore either. I just can't do it; it hurts too much. I love you too much. But I love you in all the wrong ways." He inhaled and then pushed out all of the truth in a mad rush of words. "So, Steve? That kiss? I meant it ... I meant every dammed second of it even though I knew it was probably going to be a mistake. I just didn't realize how big of a mistake it was going to be ... for me ... and for you. I'm sorry."

He had to stop to take a breath and to wipe the reams of sweat which were now dotting his brow. His lips quirked partly into a rueful smile as he admitted one final thing.

"I'm sorry because that kiss wasn't only good because I wanted it to _look_ good, Steven. I _wanted_ it to _be_ good."

Once he stopped talking, Danny felt as if he was being strangled by his own two hands. He didn't want to quit or leave this incredible person standing in front of him, but he had no choice. Steve had enough disappointments in his life, he didn't need or deserve this one piled on a mountain of other woes.

"Yeah," Danny repeated inanely when Steve stayed quiet and the ongoing silence became unbearable. He shifted from foot to foot as sweat rolled down his back, unable of looking away and equally incapable of walking away even as his emotions began to make it difficult for him to breathe and his mouth dried to dust. "Now you know. Now you have it ... and I'm sorry ..." He mentally kicked himself as he finally - _finally_ \- forced his numb legs to move.

There was a distant burst of laughter again and Danny scrubbed at his face. The sounds got him moving faster now. He gestured lamely towards the lanai using their guests as a partial excuse to get by Steve's body. "We should go back out. They'll be leaving soon," Danny said. "With planes to catch and all ... it'll wrap up."

"Danny," Steve whispered his name so very softly that Danny barely heard him. "Stop. Wait." Those last two words were a bit louder and more demand than request. He was shaking his head and blocking the way from the kitchen when Danny tried to step forward and away from the counter. "You're not going anywhere."

"No. No, I am and it's going to be fine," Danny tried to say around a sharp nervous laugh when Steve squared his shoulders. He was dammed intimidating when he wanted to be. "It will be. So ... after they go; I'll go, too." His voice broke though and he coughed as he tried to finish speaking. "Once ... once this wraps up ..."

"Danno. Shut the fuck up," Steve said, his tone unusually harsh. He reached his hand out and Danny flinched, not knowing what to expect. Maybe he deserved to get decked for this startling revelation. So as Steve took a step forward, Danny crashed backwards into the counter. He winced as he bruised his lower back, not sure how to read Steve's reaction when the man took yet another step forward.

_**~ to be continued ~ **_


	3. Smut-urday C2: A Parody of Extremes

_**NOTES: **I'm posting part 2 on the heels of part 1. The idea was a one-shot for "Smut-urday" and even though Phoebe assured me this could be one long chapter/posting, I did break it up. So, this became two chapters in my head. My thought was that the tone changed which changed the cadence._

_But I did aim to post both parts on the same day, regardless._

_I hope this hits the mark! Thanks again, Phoebe - I appreciate the catch and advice on some tactics here. :-)_

**H5O* H5O* H5O* H5O* H5O**

"Steve ..." Danny tried to back up again only to rebound off the counter for a second time, hitting himself sharply in exactly the same spot. "Shit. Ow."

"Just shut the fuck up," Steve repeated as he reached out, palm open. "Do not move. Don't move." His eyes continued to be dark and unreadable as his fingers gently curved around Danny's neck. His thumb traced a soft half-circle just under his jawline. Stunned to his core, Danny's mouth gaped wide as heat spread like a plush blanket over his skin. He breathed in and felt like crying as his body swayed into the warmth of Steve's touch and if this wasn't enough, Steve's next question, his tone marked by incredulity, nearly sent Danny to his knees.

"Can I really do this?" He asked even though he continued to move, stepping even closer while cupping the side of Danny's neck. "Am I? God ... Danny. This is why you thought you had to leave?" Steve's breath seemed to falter as his free had dipped down and trembling fingers brushed the material of Danny's dress shirt aside. Calloused fingers brushed lightly over his skin.

"Steve?" Breathing heavily and trapped like a deer in headlights, Danny stood frozen in place as Steve slipped his free hand through the narrow gap of his open neckline. The heat of his fingers met Danny's dampened skin and Danny flinched, not sure he could hold his ground or prevent himself from responding as one of Steve's knees boldly nudged between his legs. "Steve?" He groaned under his breath as his cock began to thicken almost embarrassingly fast.

"Can I? Danno? Can I do this?" Steve asked again and again as he invaded Danny space, leaving him literally nowhere to go. Almost reverently, Steve tugged on the hemline of Danny's shirt. Never taking his eyes away from what he was doing, Steve freed more of the material to make room for his left hand. He moistened his lips as his right thumb ran a heated circle on Danny's chest while the fingers of his left splayed wide and strong to the small of his back, almost protectively over where Danny had just bruised himself.

"Steve?" Danny's eyes were wide as he stared into Steve's face. He shivered when Steve's thumb strayed lower and the roughness of his skin dared to stroke the hard nub of a nipple. Steve paused to look deeply into Danny's eyes as he palmed the place directly over Danny's heart. He smiled when he felt another shiver run through Danny's skin.

"You're scared to death," Steve whispered as he gently caressed that place, lingering to feel his heartbeat. He shook his head and smiled. "Don't ever be scared of me, Danno."

Swallowing hard, Danny nodded out of sheer desperation. He didn't know what else to say or do.

"So, I'm your problem ... me? Because, if you knew how long ... how long I wanted you," Steve murmured as he leaned down to kiss his lips. "You idiot." He chuckled as he mouthed kiss after kiss over Danny's chin, his lips, the soft underside of his neck. "I've had the very same ... problem." Head spinning as Steve murmured soft words of reassurance, Danny merely stood there, not even trying to return his gentle kisses. "If only you knew how long ... we're both such fools."

The kisses and soft words kept coming and Danny closed his eyes. His hands rose up to brace himself against Steve's hips. Danny could innately sense the care Steve was taking. How he was beginning to hold himself back. Nevertheless, and Danny knew it was a strange word to choose, but he felt worshipped as Steve layered kisses along his temple and cheekbone, only to finally nip more aggressively at his lips before sinking deeply into his mouth.

"If you only knew how long ... how long I've wanted to touch you like this," Steve paused between two mind-numbing kisses, his nose nuzzling along Danny's. His breath hot across his cheek.

"You stupid, stupid ass. I kissed you back, Danny. I kissed you back."

"I thought ...I thought it was ...," Danny's voice cracked as he ran his fingers through Steve's hair. "I don't know."

"What did you think? Tell me. You thought it was part of the act? A thing?" Steve interrupted him. He shook his head, his smile gentle, his expression entirely sincere. "It wasn't an act. I meant it. And to know now that you did, too?"

Danny shook himself more aware. Steve had meant it, too.

The revelation was liberating. His hands moved more boldly. He dared to meet each kiss now, his fingers rising to stroke the nape of Steve's neck. Steve murmured his approval as he leaned in closer yet to run his hands over Danny's back. He felt tears of relief prick his eyes and he argued a relieved sob which threatened to break free on the sharpness of a desperate inhale. Unable to stop himself, Danny leaned into Steve, his arms locking around Steve's back, hugging him tightly in disbelief.

For a few moments, they stood like that. Just breathing hard as they held each other tightly, asking for nothing.

"That kiss wasn't just good, Danno. It was dammed perfect," Steve said quietly over his head. "Perfect ... in every way. Look at me."

Danny obediently lifted his head to stare into Steve's face. It still felt unreal as Steve canted his head and bent down. He used his teeth to nip at Danny's bottom lip, a chuckle preceding the glide of his tongue ... this defied all logic. Charged with emotion as Steve gently released his mouth but remained so so close, Danny could feel a familiar hysterical burble building up inside his chest, wanting to come out as his spirits began to soar.

"Steven ... Steve ... Steve ...," Danny's breath was stuck in his throat as Steve pulled him closer, the hand on the small of his back strong. Their noses touched as they gently inhaled each other while their hands fumbled over skin and got stuck within the folds of their shirts. He was pulled close enough to feel the bulge in Steve's pants as further proof in case Steve's words hadn't been enough. Danny needed to touch more of Steve as he fumbled now for the button on his jeans, then the zipper, only to have his hands gently pushed away.

"Stop. Wait. Guests ... outside," Steve explained softly as his hands seemed to cover the entire breadth of Danny's ribcage. "Not yet."

With each inhale and exhale, Danny could feel each of Steve's individual fingers holding him. Gripping into him, digging deep enough to hit bone and leave marks. Tears stung Danny's eyes. He'd been willing to leave if he had to. Terrified that he'd done all the wrong things to be literally chased off the island. Now though? Steve was kissing each of his worries away. Danny hadn't anticipated this scenario at all; not once in his wildest dreams, and those dreams had certainly been possessed in their wildness in the privacy of his own home. He closed his eyes as Steve gently nuzzled the dampness off his cheek and used his thumb to wipe the rest away. The entire time whispering Danny's name, doting on him.

"Steve ... are you sure?" Danny choked out as his hands blindly came up to meet Steve's forearms. His senses were overwhelmed with all things Steveas a slow burning heat began to pool warmly in the pit of his stomach.

He should pull away ... he should be walking away.

Instead, his body had other ideas. One hand had already slipped off Steve's bicep and found his chest. The fingers of his other had wrapped around the nape of Steve's neck and, eyes still closed, Danny forfeited that internal voice. He pulled Steve closer until there was no space between them at all. He rested his forehead against Steve's broad chest in a total daze as Steve's knee nudged harder between his legs.

"Am I sure?" Steve murmured in amusement as he purposefully applied more pressure until Danny grunted. Another devilish push had Danny automatically rubbing back against Steve's knee to create even more friction. "Jesus Christ, Danny ... am I sure? I need to get rid of them ..."

How the hell had Danny missed this, all this time?

"Yeah. You heard me ... it's a fair question," Danny mumbled stupidly as Steve grinned into his flushed face. "Isn't it?" He wanted to cry and laugh at the same time as Steve pressed into him so he could feel the bulge as proof.

"I've never been so sure about anything in my life," Steve murmured. He cupped Danny's face between his hands, lifting his knee even harder, encouraging Danny to rut against his knee. "You're a fool, Daniel. But if you're a fool, then I'm one, too. Because it was me ... I was afraid to say anything and it took a dammed undercover op to kick us both in the ass. My God, I really need to get them all the hell out of here."

"Yeah, you do!" Danny nearly laughed out loud. A sound that would have been a mix of abject relief and giddiness. But a shout from the lanai had his eyes widening. Their guests were still there. They'd be missed and soon. This wasn't exactly the best time for such honesty. Then again, kissing his partner as a semi-last resort in the middle of an international op with their peers in attendance hadn't entirely been Danny's best Hail Mary.

Except as their ardor grew, maybe it had been.

"Stop. You're right. We have to stop," Danny said as he tried to pull away.

"Shhh," Steve murmured. "I got you." Eyes full of lust, Steve put his finger to Danny's lips before he leaned down, replacing that finger with teeth and tongue. Nipping and sucking Danny's mouth into a bruising kiss, he pulled back just as Danny rose up higher on his toes.

"People?" Danny asked, blinking back a bit of a fugue from his mind. "Yeah ... people ... we can't ..."

"I'll get rid of them," Steve said as Danny practically whined out his conflicted disappointment. "I got a plan. Lou. He'll deal with them. Do not move. I'll be back."

He left Danny in a rush then. Head reeling and wondering what the hell just happened, Danny palmed himself through his pants as Steve ran from the kitchen. He had to pull himself together. He knew he should, too. This was his house after all. He was the host. Danny didn't move though. It was as if his feet were mired to the tiled floor, his back to the counter. Voices came and went. Car doors slammed. Danny couldn't imagine the back-flips, lies, stories or whatever it was Steve had told them to get them to leave.

But leave they did.

When Steve re-entered the kitchen after the last car door slammed closed in the drive, he was breathless, his eyes large and glassy. He burst through the doorway and then stumbled to a halt seemingly shocked to find Danny exactly where he'd left him.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," Danny automatically breathed back. They stared at each other spellbound, uncertain all over again, until Steve strode forward, the earlier gentleness suddenly gone. Danny was ready for him. Hunger and lust won out as they crashed together hard enough to send Danny into a peal of nervous laughter.

"Easy there, sailor," Danny said as Steve's fingernails raked deliciously across his back.

"No," Steve growled through his teeth as he nipped at Danny's lips, all aggression and want. Danny groaned into Steve's mouth as his partner all but ripped the shirt off his body and lewdly pulled Danny forward to straddle his knee. He pushed harder, intentionally rocking his knee up harder. Danny grunted and responded automatically by using his hips in an eager dip and dive, seeking the delicious burn of friction. Rutting strongly into Steve's thigh.

Shirt be dammed, Danny thought as he finally crushed his bare chest against Steve's. He wanted so much more though as he eagerly resumed his attack on Steve's jeans, this time with more success. But Steve was after his too and Danny laughed as they both got mired with material which bunched up around their knees, then their ankles.

Kicking and stepping on whatever they could, it didn't take long for each to be left in almost ... and Danny grinned. Loopy and already breathing hard, he looked down and then laughed out loud. Steve had much less to contend with.

"Figures," he chuckled as heat pooled between his loins. "Commando or Commander?"

"It's more efficient for both," Steve grinned back as he stuck his thumbs inside the waistband to Danny's boxer-briefs. He pulled down, licking his lips and then smiling lasciviously at the ample bulge under Danny's briefs. "Purple? I thought socks were your only kink," he said as he began to tug the delightfully colorful material down.

"And... ties," Danny hummed happily as he mouthed and laved a hot moist line along Steve's neck. He laughed as that simple act rocked Steve to a breathless stop, his thumbs still stuck in his briefs, which were suddenly low around his thighs. But then he was gasping as Steve gave his dick a long, languid pull.

"How about cuffs?" Steve teased him back. "Or, is that too soon?"

Danny's smile melted from his face and he shook his head. "Nothing's too soon," he said in all seriousness. "We were almost too late."

"You're right about that," Steve replied softly as he carded his fingers roughly through Danny's hair, relishing the sheer fact that he could. For the first time, his hands got tangled in the usually perfect strands which he fisted tightly before tugging Danny's head back. He hummed his pleasure as he ducked down to keep Danny's mouth trapped, nearly drowning him in kiss after kiss. Off balance, Danny brought his hands to Steve's shoulders, responding to each kiss with an ardent show of force. A competition of sorts began as they tugged at each other, fighting to out-do the other. Danny grinned into Steve's mouth as he palmed Steve in kind, mimicking that long pull. No longer embarrassed or worried, what they were doing felt right in every way imaginable. And yet part of Danny's brain was warning him that this bubble was merely temporary and that it was going to burst. So, he was more than a bit worried when Steve stopped, cradled his face between his hands and demanded he do something he at first, didn't understand.

"What's wrong," he asked.

"Take it back," Steve demanded. "Take what you said back and promise me that you will never - and I mean never - say it again."

"Take what back?" Danny asked, perplexed and worried. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out what he'd said wrong. Something which made Steve actually angry. "I only said that I loved you ... and I do."

"Not that. That part about leaving the team," Steve replied. "That you would ever leave me. What the hell were you thinking?"

Steve's plea was so earnest, that Danny couldn't even tease him about it. His answer was simple, open and honest. "No," he breathed out. "I won't. You know that I won't. Especially ...now."

"Good. Don't ever say anything like that again. Ever," Steve demanded. "Because ... I love you, too, Danno."

"I was afraid," Danny's voice faltered. "I was ... afraid that I'd screwed up everything. That's what I do, right?" He tried to laugh and failed terribly. "I screw up."

"No. You don't screw up," Steve breathed out as he squeezed Danny's hand. "You don't ... it's not you ... you're the only constant. Sometimes you just tilt at windmills."

"Windmills?" Danny choked out a half-sob as Steve planted a playful kiss on the bridge of his nose. His emotions wavered as Steve's eyes darkened.

"No more fear," Steve whispered. "No more blame. We're each other's constant. Together, we're the only thing that's not screwed up; don't you see that? We're not going to let this go anymore." He pressed his finger against Danny's lips before he could think of anything to say, his eyes never leaving Danny's face as he sunk to his knees, that same finger tracing a sharp vertical line from his lips, down his chin. His fingernail scratched erotically over the dip in Danny's throat and then down the center of his chest, a hot white line that divided Danny in half.

His other hand cupped Danny's erection, his fingers warm and strong. With one final look into Danny's eyes, Steve dropped his head and without preamble, inhaled the tip of Danny's cock into the heat of his mouth. He closed his lips around the head before taking more of him into his mouth and began to steadily suck.

"Jesus ... Steve," Danny hissed over his teeth. "Warn a guy." His sharp inhale of surprise was audible as he desperately clutched at Steve's shoulders. "Are we gonna do this here?" He barely got the words out. His voice sounded strangled and he fought an urge to thrust forward. His knees sagged as that moist heat increased tenfold, an antithesis to the chills prickling his skin. He closed his eyes, threw his head back as emotion and lust surged through him. His next breath caught in his throat when he looked down, muscles like liquid gold, hands now mired in the thick of Steve's hair.

Their eyes met, pupils blown and Danny choked as Steve grinned up at him from his knees, saliva pooling in the corners of his mouth. He sucked harder, his cheeks obscenely hollowed out. His gaze dropping back to the task at hand, his expression blissful even as his own erection bobbed between them, woefully neglected.

"S-steve ... close ... close," he was on the verge and Danny bit his lip, drawing a bead of blood in vain as his control fled. He cursed as he arched into the tongue attacking his throbbing member. The skilled fingers which gently swirled over his balls. He bucked uncontrollably then, making Steve gag. Vaguely aware that Steve had his hands on his thighs to hold him in place. Trapped between the counter and the unrelenting heat of Steve's mouth, Danny felt the edge building and gasped out loud. That garbled noise became a keen as he climaxed, seeing stars and barely aware that Steve had pulled off but was continuing to fondle and stroke him with spit-laden hands.

Danny wavered as his knees folded and he all but collapsed, his head finding the curve of Steve's shoulder. Velvet lips dragged across Danny's skin as the targeted assault continued, Steve humming and smiling the entire time.

"Down." His senses rolled on wave after wave of pleasure as Steve leaned into him to push him backwards onto the kitchen floor, damp skin sliding. Danny groaned as Steve latched onto a nipple, teasing and massaging with his tongue. He couldn't possibly come again so soon but Steve seemed to think otherwise; as did Danny's dick which was trying to make a half-hearted attempt at rallying.

"My partner's fucking hot," Steve murmured brokenly, half-laughing as Danny bucked back up into him. Steve was going to kill him at this rate and yet Danny, giggled. Steve was proving a point to him even if by then, it was far from necessary.

"Gah," Danny choked out as his hands clenched around Steve's biceps, his nails digging in painfully tight. He was in a haze but not up for complaining. His mind swirled as he panted under Steve's comforting weight. Draped across him, heavy and comforting, his arousal was still stiff along Danny's bare thigh.

"Fucking hot," Steve said again as he adjusted his position and rutted purposefully into Danny. But it was Danny who reached down to take him in hand. His grip tightened around Steve's dick and he squeezed before he gave him a harder pull, changing the tide, causing Steve to grunt wantonly. He grinned as Steve arched his back, thrusting forward, his hands propped on the floor, on either side of Danny's shoulders.

"Feel good babe?" Danny asked when Steve's breath juddered in his throat, his forearms holding a subtle tremor.

"More," Steve muttered hoarsely. "Harder ... yeah. Like that ... soon, Danny ... yeah."

"Fucking Neanderthal," Danny teased as he spat into both hands and picked up his pace when Steve groaned through a curse. He leaned up just as Steve's eyes closed, his lips parted in a discordant pant. He bit at Steve's mouth when he heard Steve murmur his name and then sucked at his bottom lip, worrying at the sensitive skin. All the while, working with the awkward angle to jerk Steve off as the man rocked forward still wanting even more. Within seconds, Steve's cock was pulsing in his hand and his cum was threading across Danny's abdomen and chest.

"Fucking ... hot," Steve mumbled as he dropped his sweaty forehead to Danny's.

Still in a haze, Danny's eyes were heavy-lidded even as he lazily ran his fingers over both their sensitive lengths, twirling them almost languidly higher up through the combined stickiness matted between their bodies. Steve gently rolled his hips, enjoying the feather-light feeling of his touch. He gazed upwards, unable to focus on any single part of Steve's face for their closeness. Tanned skin merged into a fuzzy outline of color and light as Danny gave up and closed his eyes too. He smiled to himself as Steve blindly kissed his cheeks, his nose and then lazily rediscovered his mouth.

Danny hummed in contentment as Steve slid listlessly to the side and yet took Danny with him, tucked inside his arms. Legs entwined, Danny breathed Steve's scent in. He traced the ridges of Steve's muscled abdomen much as he'd done that day during the Op when he'd accidentally forgotten himself. His hand wandered higher still across sweat-streaked skin as they lay on his kitchen floor in the middle of a late Hawaiian afternoon, naked, filthy and sated. He'd hated himself for what he'd done for days on end. He'd thought the bottom had fallen out. He'd never assumed that Steve might have felt the same way. Not once.

"I thought I'd screwed up," Danny murmured, still a bit disbelieving of what had just happened even though Steve was tucking him closer. He stared at the sunlight dappling their legs as it streamed through the kitchen window, shifting as a slight wind stirred the leaves of a tree outside.

"We're the only thing not screwed up," Steve replied softly, shivering under the pads of Danny's fingertips as he stroked lazy circles across his chest. "Us. Together. You're my constant. Don't you forget that. Ever."

_**~ End. ~**_


End file.
